The Life of Mr. Rockninschninckle: A Short Story by Ilya Kreider
By Ilya Kreider
It was a clear spring day on top of Mt. Humuhumunukunukuapua’a, the fiery volcano named for the Hawaiian fish. With the volcano’s seasonal eruptions, the life of Mr. Rockninschninckle is always changing. Mr Rockninschninckle is an igneous rock living inside the volcano. He never really has experienced the biggest elements of life until now. With the big explosion of the volcano, Rocky gets to experience the point of view from every type of rock across all of the cities.
. . .
“How’s a going Rocky?”
Now I know what you're thinking, I have a crazy weird name. Rockinson Rockninschninckle. My friends call me Rocky for short. This is my best friend Gemma and she lives a few lava pools away from me. We’ve been friends ever since we were born.
“Hi Gemma, whatcha’ doin today?”
“Not much, I heard some dude on the street spreading rumors about the city blowing up again. I honestly wouldn't care if it blew up again, last year we were all around the human news for our city killing their species.”
Before you even start saying it, yes she is a little cooky. She goes crazy for being famous and has always wished to be a famous RockTuber. I don’t think the humans realize that we are even alive. I’ve heard before that the humans were splitting open the insides of our ancestors that are billions of years old just to see how they are living so long, at least I think that's why. They are just killing them all the time and it has become more of a problem ever since the humans got more techy.
“Are you insane, why would you want our homes to blow up again just for nobody to realize us rocks are alive. If they ever noticed that we were alive people would probably jump off to the deserts. Humans take many shapes and forms though, so some of them might stay to talk to us.”
“I wouldn’t care if humans noticed us at all, it would make us famous for the rest of our lives!”
Sometimes I really wonder if she knows what would really happen to us if the humans knew about our existence. Yes, we would have more peace and quiet around here but our lives would change for years. I’ve been alive for a couple million years now and I like the way that it is going for me.
“Gemma, Gemma, Gemma. After a while the world would just get over this and they would live in fear of us. And the way humans live they would call the people who stay back crazy people. What about all the rocks in the desert? They clearly enjoy living the way they do.”
Just as I was saying that the ridge below me started to shake, it must have been an earthquake. Oh no, I learned in Rock Academy around one point six million years ago that an earthquake can trigger a city explosion.
“You might have been right Gemma, or the dude, whatever. Did you just feel the shaking down there? I think we’re gonna burst!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! My dreams came true. I will become the most famous rock in the world!”
I could tell that we weren’t the only ones who had felt the shaking because others started to come out or move around. The little baby pebbles were shaken the most by the shaking. They couldn’t stay on the ground. Just then, within minutes the area around me started getting really hot. It was so instant. The city blew up, I was flung into the air and what were the chances that my grandpa Ernie was shot up right at me, except he is a lot bigger and heavier. He blew me into pieces and all I know is that the top of me hit the outside because that is the only part I can control and/or see from.
There was another piece that flew on top of me and it instantly connected to me or stuck to me. I guess I’m joining the sedimentary team again. I hope that this doesn’t last for long because some of the sedimentary people are kinda creepy. I met one a few months ago that had like fifteen eyes, four legs, and seventy-eight arms. I’m not gonna sit here and wait for anymore people to fall on me. A set of legs above my head is good for now.
I hate my life, as soon as I said that I wobbled onto a pair of arms, another set of eyes, and then another pair of legs. I’m not particularly annoyed by the new legs because now I can properly walk again.
I came across another guy who had happened to catch five whole heads on with him so as I passed him I heard, “Hi, Howdy, How’s a goin, Hello, wassup.” I just ignored them and continued walking along trying to get back home to see how bad the damage was, but then I realized that it would probably take over a month to get back there at the least if I get lucky with wind and the route that I take.
Just then as I was passing another deformed person, I saw my mouth on someone’s foot. I had to fight with him for about four hours just to get my mouth back. The fight was pretty silent though because he kept quiet and well, I couldn’t really talk at all. I finally got the mouth and rolled into a position where it would connect back perfectly to my face. I cursed at the guy and continued on with my journey.
As I continued on up the volcano to get back inside I thought I saw a familiar face and I was just thinking “no way! No way! What are the chances? Out of all the people that had been blown up out of the city and where they would land I would never think that Gemma would end up right in front of me.
“Gemma! Gemma!”
“Rocky! What were the chances of this happening?! But first I want to ask you what happened here? You look like Mr. Stinkleberry.”
Mr. Stinkleberry is the guy I was talking about earlier with fifteen eyes, four legs, and seventy-eight arms.
“Well, thank you soooo much Gemma. Everyone likes to look like Mr Stinkleberry. I’m done with this, I’m just gonna jump all the way down to the bottom and come back in one piece. Being metamorphic isn’t bad at all. I’ll almost look as if I used to.” I then jumped back into the volcano and I hit a cliff and landed there. The heat there was good enough for me to become a metamorphic rock and just like that all of my problems were solved.
After that something happened to me that I really didn’t want to happen, I was gonna jump down there and hope to be brought back up by the next blow of the volcano and that part went just fine. It was just that Mr. Stinkleberry was also kind of done looking like he did and he had the same idea as me. He hit me in mid-air and since he is bigger he broke me into tons of pieces, more than last time.
Not only was I now in more pieces that I started off with I was going to be a sedimentary rock again and that’s annoying because the reason I even did all this was not to be sedimentary. All of my different sediments were flying all over the place and on top of that seven of Mr. Stinkleberry’s arms were attached to me. I swear, cementation happens way too fast these days. I was blown up all the way into the air, but it was freezing there. If I were a human I would have had a seizure by now. Well technically, if I were human, I would have burned up to pieces or I would have died of old age millions of years ago.
At least I know that Gemma got the fame that she wanted, I spotted a couple blade cars up there. They had humans with big cameras inside of them. On top of all the commotion when I finally landed back down there, well, whatever I was now or wherever you count as me being with my body all over the place, I was on the other side of the volcano where Gemma wasn’t.
I was thinking about just trying this over and over again until I actually got what I wanted. I was really at the point in there where I didn’t care. I wanted to be anything but a sedimentary rock. So, I jumped into the volcano again but then this time I fell all the way to the bottom and I started melting up. After about twenty minutes I was completely melted into magma or something like that.
Some of myself had been blown up to a ridge and there I started to cool down. During all of this time I was just thinking to myself, “what would my life actually be like if I was a human?” I actually had a lot of time to think about this because I was sitting there cooling for about seven weeks. After the seven weeks had finally passed I was finally able to climb up the side of the volcano and I was just where I had started before this whole adventure. I was an igneous rock again. I was just a little smaller overall and that was about it.
Overall, I was mostly happy about this because I got to experience the sights of all the way outside of the volcano and throughout this whole process I had changed about four or five times. I wanna do that again. Ok, now I kind of sound like Gemma.
. . .
As a result of all this drama of the explosions of Mt. Humuhumunukunukuapua’a Mr. Rockninschninckle had learned a lot about his whole life. Probably the most that he had learned since he went to Rock Academy.
It was a clear spring day on top of Mt. Humuhumunukunukuapua’a, the fiery volcano named for the Hawaiian fish. With the volcano’s seasonal eruptions, the life of Mr. Rockninschninckle is always changing. Mr Rockninschninckle is an igneous rock living inside the volcano. He never really has experienced the biggest elements of life until now. With the big explosion of the volcano, Rocky gets to experience the point of view from every type of rock across all of the cities.
. . .
“How’s a going Rocky?”
Now I know what you're thinking, I have a crazy weird name. Rockinson Rockninschninckle. My friends call me Rocky for short. This is my best friend Gemma and she lives a few lava pools away from me. We’ve been friends ever since we were born.
“Hi Gemma, whatcha’ doin today?”
“Not much, I heard some dude on the street spreading rumors about the city blowing up again. I honestly wouldn't care if it blew up again, last year we were all around the human news for our city killing their species.”
Before you even start saying it, yes she is a little cooky. She goes crazy for being famous and has always wished to be a famous RockTuber. I don’t think the humans realize that we are even alive. I’ve heard before that the humans were splitting open the insides of our ancestors that are billions of years old just to see how they are living so long, at least I think that's why. They are just killing them all the time and it has become more of a problem ever since the humans got more techy.
“Are you insane, why would you want our homes to blow up again just for nobody to realize us rocks are alive. If they ever noticed that we were alive people would probably jump off to the deserts. Humans take many shapes and forms though, so some of them might stay to talk to us.”
“I wouldn’t care if humans noticed us at all, it would make us famous for the rest of our lives!”
Sometimes I really wonder if she knows what would really happen to us if the humans knew about our existence. Yes, we would have more peace and quiet around here but our lives would change for years. I’ve been alive for a couple million years now and I like the way that it is going for me.
“Gemma, Gemma, Gemma. After a while the world would just get over this and they would live in fear of us. And the way humans live they would call the people who stay back crazy people. What about all the rocks in the desert? They clearly enjoy living the way they do.”
Just as I was saying that the ridge below me started to shake, it must have been an earthquake. Oh no, I learned in Rock Academy around one point six million years ago that an earthquake can trigger a city explosion.
“You might have been right Gemma, or the dude, whatever. Did you just feel the shaking down there? I think we’re gonna burst!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! My dreams came true. I will become the most famous rock in the world!”
I could tell that we weren’t the only ones who had felt the shaking because others started to come out or move around. The little baby pebbles were shaken the most by the shaking. They couldn’t stay on the ground. Just then, within minutes the area around me started getting really hot. It was so instant. The city blew up, I was flung into the air and what were the chances that my grandpa Ernie was shot up right at me, except he is a lot bigger and heavier. He blew me into pieces and all I know is that the top of me hit the outside because that is the only part I can control and/or see from.
There was another piece that flew on top of me and it instantly connected to me or stuck to me. I guess I’m joining the sedimentary team again. I hope that this doesn’t last for long because some of the sedimentary people are kinda creepy. I met one a few months ago that had like fifteen eyes, four legs, and seventy-eight arms. I’m not gonna sit here and wait for anymore people to fall on me. A set of legs above my head is good for now.
I hate my life, as soon as I said that I wobbled onto a pair of arms, another set of eyes, and then another pair of legs. I’m not particularly annoyed by the new legs because now I can properly walk again.
I came across another guy who had happened to catch five whole heads on with him so as I passed him I heard, “Hi, Howdy, How’s a goin, Hello, wassup.” I just ignored them and continued walking along trying to get back home to see how bad the damage was, but then I realized that it would probably take over a month to get back there at the least if I get lucky with wind and the route that I take.
Just then as I was passing another deformed person, I saw my mouth on someone’s foot. I had to fight with him for about four hours just to get my mouth back. The fight was pretty silent though because he kept quiet and well, I couldn’t really talk at all. I finally got the mouth and rolled into a position where it would connect back perfectly to my face. I cursed at the guy and continued on with my journey.
As I continued on up the volcano to get back inside I thought I saw a familiar face and I was just thinking “no way! No way! What are the chances? Out of all the people that had been blown up out of the city and where they would land I would never think that Gemma would end up right in front of me.
“Gemma! Gemma!”
“Rocky! What were the chances of this happening?! But first I want to ask you what happened here? You look like Mr. Stinkleberry.”
Mr. Stinkleberry is the guy I was talking about earlier with fifteen eyes, four legs, and seventy-eight arms.
“Well, thank you soooo much Gemma. Everyone likes to look like Mr Stinkleberry. I’m done with this, I’m just gonna jump all the way down to the bottom and come back in one piece. Being metamorphic isn’t bad at all. I’ll almost look as if I used to.” I then jumped back into the volcano and I hit a cliff and landed there. The heat there was good enough for me to become a metamorphic rock and just like that all of my problems were solved.
After that something happened to me that I really didn’t want to happen, I was gonna jump down there and hope to be brought back up by the next blow of the volcano and that part went just fine. It was just that Mr. Stinkleberry was also kind of done looking like he did and he had the same idea as me. He hit me in mid-air and since he is bigger he broke me into tons of pieces, more than last time.
Not only was I now in more pieces that I started off with I was going to be a sedimentary rock again and that’s annoying because the reason I even did all this was not to be sedimentary. All of my different sediments were flying all over the place and on top of that seven of Mr. Stinkleberry’s arms were attached to me. I swear, cementation happens way too fast these days. I was blown up all the way into the air, but it was freezing there. If I were a human I would have had a seizure by now. Well technically, if I were human, I would have burned up to pieces or I would have died of old age millions of years ago.
At least I know that Gemma got the fame that she wanted, I spotted a couple blade cars up there. They had humans with big cameras inside of them. On top of all the commotion when I finally landed back down there, well, whatever I was now or wherever you count as me being with my body all over the place, I was on the other side of the volcano where Gemma wasn’t.
I was thinking about just trying this over and over again until I actually got what I wanted. I was really at the point in there where I didn’t care. I wanted to be anything but a sedimentary rock. So, I jumped into the volcano again but then this time I fell all the way to the bottom and I started melting up. After about twenty minutes I was completely melted into magma or something like that.
Some of myself had been blown up to a ridge and there I started to cool down. During all of this time I was just thinking to myself, “what would my life actually be like if I was a human?” I actually had a lot of time to think about this because I was sitting there cooling for about seven weeks. After the seven weeks had finally passed I was finally able to climb up the side of the volcano and I was just where I had started before this whole adventure. I was an igneous rock again. I was just a little smaller overall and that was about it.
Overall, I was mostly happy about this because I got to experience the sights of all the way outside of the volcano and throughout this whole process I had changed about four or five times. I wanna do that again. Ok, now I kind of sound like Gemma.
. . .
As a result of all this drama of the explosions of Mt. Humuhumunukunukuapua’a Mr. Rockninschninckle had learned a lot about his whole life. Probably the most that he had learned since he went to Rock Academy.
Comments
Post a Comment